Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Plans for the Current

Holy guacamole on a hot beef burrito, ALL of my friends have a baby or are about to have a baby. And I'm all, "I'm about to have a degree."

Which I am ok with.

Which scares a lot of people.

And I'm ok with that.

Which really scares people.

And... I could go on forever like this. You catch my drift.

Fact is, I don't want a baby right now. Eventually, yeah I do. Right now, I want a kitten.

Like this one:

Or this one:

Or this one:

But I digress... (I think I just looked at pictures of kittens for like 20 minutes...) What I am trying to say is right now I would love to have a kitten over a baby. Even a puppy seems like too much work right now.

Guys, I am not some freak of nature for wanting to wait on the whole kid thing (which might sound reasonable to some, and crazy to others). I want time with my husband. After all the time I have spent away from him, and all the time we've spent on homework and work instead of having time for each other, having a baby right now seems... kinda horrible to the baby.

And, here comes the big part (mother, hold on to your parasol), I want to start a career. A business. Finish writing a book. Travel.

I was raised believing that being a mother was the highest and greatest calling a woman could ever have. And I still believe that. Motherhood is beautiful and terrifying and wonderful and important. And I want to be ready.

I want to live so I can show my kids how to go after their dreams. I want to learn to help them learn. But mostly, and this is most important even if it does come across as selfish, I want to better myself. I want to be strong, happy, successful (by my definition) and most of all I want to just love the life I have.

I haven't had time to really live. I haven't learned to live until recently. I've been busy with the formal education and working part. I am so close to the "living" part now. I am learning that each day is a day to live. Whether or not I have homework, laundry, angry customers or a cold. I can still LIVE. And that is what I want to do. Live as just me, before adding the title of mother.

And that is ok.

(Linking up with: followers to friendsWhat I'm Loving WednesdayWhatenver, WheneverSo What It's Almost Friday Thursday Blog HopBlack Tag DiariesIt's Ok Thursday,)


  1. "Mother hold on to your parasol" <-- LOVE IT!! Jeannie, you have to find happiness in YOUR way in YOUR time and on YOUR conditions. Get it, girl!

  2. Motherhood comes when your ready. Sometimes unexpectedly and at its own timing. (Surprises) When it's time you will know. Until then enjoy being childless!!


  3. Amen Jeannie, I know where you are coming from with this and I can totally relate. Thank you for expressing this!