Which I am ok with.
Which scares a lot of people.
And I'm ok with that.
Which really scares people.
And... I could go on forever like this. You catch my drift.
Fact is, I don't want a baby right now. Eventually, yeah I do. Right now, I want a kitten.
Like this one:
Or this one:
Or this one:
But I digress... (I think I just looked at pictures of kittens for like 20 minutes...) What I am trying to say is right now I would love to have a kitten over a baby. Even a puppy seems like too much work right now.
Guys, I am not some freak of nature for wanting to wait on the whole kid thing (which might sound reasonable to some, and crazy to others). I want time with my husband. After all the time I have spent away from him, and all the time we've spent on homework and work instead of having time for each other, having a baby right now seems... kinda horrible to the baby.
And, here comes the big part (mother, hold on to your parasol), I want to start a career. A business. Finish writing a book. Travel.
I was raised believing that being a mother was the highest and greatest calling a woman could ever have. And I still believe that. Motherhood is beautiful and terrifying and wonderful and important. And I want to be ready.
I want to live so I can show my kids how to go after their dreams. I want to learn to help them learn. But mostly, and this is most important even if it does come across as selfish, I want to better myself. I want to be strong, happy, successful (by my definition) and most of all I want to just love the life I have.
I haven't had time to really live. I haven't learned to live until recently. I've been busy with the formal education and working part. I am so close to the "living" part now. I am learning that each day is a day to live. Whether or not I have homework, laundry, angry customers or a cold. I can still LIVE. And that is what I want to do. Live as just me, before adding the title of mother.
And that is ok.
(Linking up with: followers to friends, What I'm Loving Wednesday, Whatenver, Whenever, So What It's Almost Friday Thursday Blog Hop, Black Tag Diaries, It's Ok Thursday,)