Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Automatic Everything

Sometimes I worry about the world. Mainly I worry about kids not believing in fairies,

 the accepted lie that is the American Buffalo (it is not a buffalo it          is a BISON)

and 80's fashions coming back.But I have recently come across a truly troubling phenomenon: the automation of everything.

From escalators and moving floors (and they wonder why obesity is on the rise!), automatic hand dryers, toilets, lights, paper towel dispensers, drinking fountains, soap dispensers, doors, bill pay and car windows the world may one day forget how to turn on a sink or open a door. But the latest in a long string of offenders: automatic toilet paper dispensers.

That's right. UNbelievable! How do they (who ever they are, which is another question we shall not go into for fear of excessive rambling and soap box standing) know how much toilet paper I need/want? Did they do a study to see how many squares the average person used? (how would they even conduct that study?!)

Honestly, it made me feel lazy. Like someone had invaded my "restroom time". Ridiculous? Perhaps. But still, I have to constantly watch and fear for the unsuspecting automatic toilet flush.And now, the automatic toilet paper?

Now, I am trying to understand that it is probably all about reducing germs and yata yata yata.But I do find it insulting, irritating and downright strange!

They either:
 A) Worryabout the over use of toilet paper and want to cut costs and reduce flood possibilities (Which are still very  much in place because you can get the dispenser to give you toilet paper over and over and over again).
B) Are germaphobes and shudder at the thought of the different hands touching that last square of toilet paper that they themselves might use (in which case they should probably start disinfecting their credit cards. Do you have any idea how many hands probably touch those in a week?!)
 C) Are trying to take over the world by making people stupid and dependent on automatic everything and will one day revert it ALL back to manual and then have the world screaming in the palms of their hands for HELP!

A little far fetched? I think not!

But seriously, how did they actually know how much toilet paper I needed? It was literally the perfect amount! I think that is the most disturbing part of all....


  1. I just love your blog! Keep writing! I never thought about automatic toilet paper before but it sure is an interesting concept and how easy we have it in the world today!

  2. Why thank you! You are always so good to comment on my posts. It always makes me happy. Thanks for being such an amazing friend!