Addicted... to Running

Miracles DO happen.

Yesterday I was able to run! For the first time in two weeks!!!

Shin splints have stopped me, and boy did I miss it. And I didn't realize how much until yesterday.

You see, I had a day from H-E-Double-Hell yesterday. The last two hours of work felt like I was being repeatedly rammed with a forklift. And the entire time I just kept on repeating to myself, "You can go home and run. Just make it through this and you can just go and R-U-N." I had forgotten about my shin splints and immediately reverted to the most stress relieving, happiest thing I could do (by myself... There are certain "marriage activities" that can be even better, but I digress).*

Well I made it home in one piece, and scowled at the clouds and gloomy weather and cold wind. And after I walked in the door... my dears, stuff hit the fan. It wasn't pretty. I may have had some angry tears spilling from my frustrated eyes. (And believe it or not, it wasn't all my husband's fault!) So when I had finally thrown on my running clothes, bundled up and found some gloves, I was out the door like a shot.

Even though it had been two weeks I was so angry I managed to run my first mile in decent time (compared to my time, which is the only time that matters). But what surprised me wasn't that my anger melted away as I pushed my feet against the cold pavement. Or that breathing in that crisp air filled my soul with serenity. The surprising thing was that once I started running this feeling of comforting familiarity settled over me. Much like finally getting to curl up on the sofa and have a nice long chat with your best friend. That feeling of, "This is where I belong. This is where my soul flourishes and my body finds peace."

And that is when it hit me: I am a runner.

I've always thought I was just a wanna-be runner. I have only ever done more than 3.5 miles once (and I thought I was going to die). It is only in the past two months that I have been truly consistent (until the shin splints...). And yet, my mind more than my body craves running. I almost feel addicted. Something in me is satisfied and at peace once I can run. And if I go too long without running I start to feel mentally itchy, and running is the only way to scratch.

God gave me an incredible gift while I was calming mind and sou and pushing my body. It had been cold and cloudy and rainy all day. It was a real gloom fest. Until my run. And then the early evening sun bathed the clouds and leaves in a warm, golden light that blessed this time of change. Everything became instantly more beautiful. As the light hit my face I felt like Autumn herself was giving me a loving caress.

This was the tale end of the light. You should have seen the golden
glory that splashed the world in wonder!

What I want to do is encourage all you "wanna-be's". I used to hate running. Sometimes, in the midst of pushing myself past my comfort zone, I still do. But you can reach a place of addiction too. (You know, rarely is there at time when one can say that and not mean something incredibly unhealthy...) And if running isn't what you want, then I think you should find something that is just for you. I don't run for anyone else. I run for me. I run to healthy in body and mind. I run so I don't have to take anti-depressants. What do you do for you?

(Linking up with It's Almost Friday Thursday Blog Hop, Black Tag Diaries, First Day Of My Life, Kate Says Stuff, Pretty Little Inspirations Blog Hop, Friends to Followers, Link and Mingle, Weekly Wednesday Blog Hop, Follow Me Wednesday, Pretty Little Inspirations and Lovely Little Whimsy.)

A Week of Learning

It is amazing how much one can learn in a week. And it isn't always in the places you'd look for new knowledge, and it can be so incredibly varied.

This week I was faced with a pile of homework, and I thought it would kill me. I went into overwhelmed mode. You know, so stressed out that you just shut down and don't do anything?

Yeah, it isn't very useful. But that's where I was at. I was getting so frustrated because I liked what I was studying. So why was it so hard to just get it done? I was praying for help, for motivation for anything that would help me get through this.

My brother gave me this New Testament.
I love how small it is.

And then, in my scripture study along came a verse, Matt 9:23 and it had the answer. I wasn't looking for an answer there. It was such a simple verse.
"And when Jesus came into the ruler's house, and saw the minstrels and the people making a noise"

And then it hit me: Turn off the noise.

That was my answer! Turn the noise off, quiet my mind and my soul and I would get it done. So simple. It has turned out to be harder than I would like. But I am trying. I am keeping the TV off, music off (or playing classical music quietly) and I quiet all the noise in my mind. I focus. I make a conscious effort to focus. And things get done!



Another thing I learned this week was learned while procrastinating said homework. I was just going along, looking at pinterest, when I saw a hairstyle. It inspired a completely different hairstyle. But I love it. It is simple, easy and fast!

Yup, new go too hairstyle. Now I just need to figure out how to do this without having my front pulled back like that... I would like to make it a little bit more feminine and pretty. Still, pretty awesome if I do say so myself!

I also re-learned the whole snacking healthy thing. Remember how last Friday I was super sick and wanted to die? Well, I also lost some weight in the process. And I really liked how my jeans fit afterwards. So, after that whole awful experience, I changed my eating habits this week. Just a little. I just try to go for healthier alternatives. I keep healthy snacks on hand (healthy snacks that I like!) and I feel so much better! And I have been drinking more water.  It is the little things that add up.





I've also been learning a lot about marriage recently. How important it is to support your spouse and be their cheerleader. Everyone needs someone in their corner. Everyone needs to know that no matter what, someone loves them. My husband has a had a bunch of tests at school this week and has been really stressed. It is so easy to respond shortly when your spouse is all wound up. You can let their stress get to you. But I have learned that if I can focus on being his cheerleader, on being the one waving the pompoms and telling him how much I believe in him everything gets better. He feels supported and less stressed. I feel like a superhero for making him smile. We like each other more. It is just all round beautiful.

I am also learning to take a minute, breathe and look at what is all around me. Beauty is everywhere. We just have to stop and enjoy it. I like to see all these pretty leaves and think how happy God must be that I am noticing the beauty He created for me. Life is wonderful. Sometimes we just have to remember that.

(linking up with: Lauren, Weekend Blog Walk, Fantabulous Friday, Friday Favorite Things, That Friday Blog Hop, and Womanhood With a Purpose

In Honor of Malala

I was thinking about doing an "outfit" post today. After all I love clothes (like a lot) and jewelry and everything. But then I read an article about a 14 year old Pakistani girl hot in the head and neck by the Taliban on a school bus for being a feminist blogger. And my heart broke.

Suddenly, I couldn't write a peppy post about my adorable new rosette dress and how much I love my husband.

Here I am, sitting comfortably, writing this post without fear. I could write about whatever I want. I could tell you how much I love Jesus and Heavenly Father. I could write about how much I dislike politics. I could even write horrible, hateful things and the worst that could happen is some verbal backlash. No one would hunt me down for speaking my mind and shoot me. I am not living in fear.

I have freedom. I have the freedom to speak and write what I want.

It is so easy to be wrapped up in my small life. To get giggly over some TV show, excited over nail polish and sad because my blow dryer broke. It is simple to ignore the hardships and heartaches of those trapped in a tyrannical society. It is easy to fret about not having any pumpkin-chocolate-chip cookies and forget about the children who will go to sleep hungry tonight, tomorrow and the next night.

How blessed are we? We bloggers who get to enjoy our freedom to mix prints and colors and share it with a welcoming community. I worry about fitness, accepting myself and eating healthy. What small worries.

Of course, all of these things are fine. I am not condemning blogging about fashion or fitness or anything. I am part of that community and I love it.

But today God reminded me of a much bigger world. A world with problems so big no one can solve them. And pain that pulsates and grows and creates chaos and fear. A world with small miracles. A world with beautiful people brave enough, even at fourteen, to speak the truth; even though doing so knowingly put her own life at risk.

How blessed are we?

We have each other. We have support. We have love. We have life's needs. We have everything.

So today, I want to honor this young girl and all she stood for. Her actions and words have inspired me to remember. She has inspired me to see what more I can do to help others find their voice. Let us join together and with a prayer in our hearts try to help heal this broken world.

We are strong. We are many. We are blessed.

Thank you Malala. Keep fighting. We are behind you all the way.

photo courtesy of hellogiggles.com

(linking up with Lindsay, Followers to Friends and Blog Working Wednesdays)

Fitspiration? Yeah, Not Really

Since my teenage years I have wanted nothing more than to transform the way I look. I wanted to be thin, toned, with perfect hair and teeth (and eyesight). It has taken me years to look in the mirror and be satisfied. In fact, many days I'm not. But I am working on it. And a huge step for me has been learning about and rejecting media that promotes weight-loss for appearance and not for health.

I have wondered why I could never work out consistently. What was I doing wrong? Why couldn't I just work out, eat right and be thin?! What was stopping me? Everyone else seemed to be doing just fine, but not me. Nope. I was dumb, unsuccessful, ugly, fat and a failure.

I've learned why I have never been successful: When focusing only on appearance a real drive for fitness can't exist. The real reason to exercise regularly and eat right is because you want to be healthy. After all, you only have one body. ONE. You don't get any returns or exchanges.

I can eat healthy not to drop a size, but because this is the only body I have. And I want to make the most out of life. So I need to take care of the body I have.

This article by the amazing Kite sisters really helped open my eyes:
http://www.beautyredefined.net/why-fitspiration-isnt-so-inspirational/

We have been going about motivating ourselves the wrong way! Not only that, but the levels of perfection we want to achieve are indeed impossible. Do you hear me?! IMPOSSIBLE.

After reading that article I went through my pinterest boards and deleted all of the "fitspirational" photos I had posted. I realized that many of them were not focusing on actual health goals, but in killing my body to fit some preconceived, media driven belief of what I should look like. I kept up the pictures and quotes that were focused on action and reaching my goals (such as running a 10K).

Once I took "looks" out of my exercise and eating I was shocked at how things have changed. I crave running. I have goals every week, and reaching those goals feels amazing. When I run a mile faster, or add another 1/2 mile to my run without dropping my pace I feel like I have conquered the world. Suddenly, I am empowered. And when I can't make it out on a run, instead of feeling guilty because I know that I didn't burn calories and now I can't eat as much and I am not going to be as skinny as quickly (yeah, that was really my train of thought. How depressing is that?) Now I look at it as a "rest" day. Tomorrow I can push a little harder because I let my body recover a little extra. It isn't the end of the world. It isn't the end of my goals. It isn't even a bump in the road.


I have stopped comparing how I look to anyone else. I don't care if someone even has a similar body type. They do not have my body. My body is different. It needs different things. And if I am eating healthy (with the occasional cake, because everybody needs cake) and exercising regularly then my body is just how it needs to be. I don't need to worry about changing to fit into a certain size. I don't need to worry about looking good in that bathing suit. If my focus is health, happiness and reaching goals then my looks kind of take care of themselves.

Nothing is more beautiful than a happy, confident, healthy woman. And nothing feels better than knowing that you are happy being you. God created you as you are. He gave you the challenges in your life for a reason. He believes you are perfect the way you are. After all, He made you that way. I don't believe you should try to change the wonderful body you have for someone else's idea of perfection. But take care of the body you have now, because it is a gift to you from your Creator.

So, how are you going to stop the comparison, the impossible expectations and consumer driven media from holding you back in your goals?

(Linking up with The Chiffon Diary,  and GFC Blog Hop)

Yellow Galoshes

I just love being happy. I don't know what it is, but I am in a fantastic mood today. Work is good and busy, but not too busy and life is just... happy.

Strange thing is, I should be (or maybe I shouldn't be?) stressing like there is no tomorrow. I have to write (I kid you not) 17 papers by Friday. No, that is not 17 pages. 17 papers.

Call me crazy.

The funny thing is, I didn't procrastinate this work. Usually that is the case. But I actually did my best to stay on top of things. But life and other things kept happening. And now Friday is coming at me like a fast speeding train, and for some reason I feel like I am skipping down the tracks in yellow galoshes to meet it.

Go figure.

I think it is God's way of making sure I don't implode or something. I am pretty sure that this feeling of peace and calm is a gift because I told God I would take this class because He wanted me too, but I would need help to do it. This is my help. I am so grateful!

In spite of all this craziness I have a brand new week ahead of me! And I am excited for it. I have a week of training for my 10K (I am really falling in love with running). I get to look forward to date night with my hubby. I am hoping to squeeze in dinner with a dear friend too. And I bought tickets to the opera for next week! (I feel so grown up and cultured saying that... But you really can't say no to $13 tickets)

Another thing that has me jumping for joy? I have some new followers! HI GUYS! Every time I see that I have a new follower I quite literally do a happy dance. Around my room. Singing. And then I stalk them and find out that some truly amazing, awesome, incredible people are following me. My friends (can I call you my friends? I like to think that we're friends) you are inspiring! Thanks for being here!

P.S. I really, really, really want a pair of yellow galoshes. Yes, I have a pair of polka dot ones. I may or may not have plaid as well. But that is besides the point. I need yellow ones. They would totally match my car!