Tuesday, November 25, 2014

A Herd of Cats

Anyone who has just two wolves is pretty lucky. I have found that I exist with a herd of cats living inside of me. A whole bunch of cats, each trying to be the "alpha" cat. Each frolicking and trying to out purr the other. Life is difficult with a whole bunch of cats chasing lasers inside of you.

Meet Lucy. She is wise.

One cat, let's call her Lucy, she is a conscientious little one. She wants us to eat organic, and be a dedicated yogi. She likes to look at new recipes of green smoothies that have odd ingredients like kelp, chia seeds, hemp and who knows what else. She likes the idea of eating paleo, or carb free or whole grains. She believes in meditation and doing sun salutations to work through emotions.

And then there is another little kitty, Susie. She is a hellian. She loves marshmallows and Cheetos. Working out is hard work, and therefore should be avoided. She really likes netflix. And lounging in the sun. Sleeping is the number one priority. Followed, of course, by eating the delicious and easy things in life.

I hope Helen has a cat-stache
Now, these two sweet felines sure like to tustle and fight and make me crazy. Let's be honest, Susie usually wins because hers is the path of least resistance. And it has the cheetos. I don't know if you know this, but (for me) cheetos trumps chia seeds. But, like I said, I live with a herd of cats. I'm hoping that within the tumbling fur balls and emotions there is one that promotes moderation. I hope her name is something sensible but quirky. Like Helen. You don't meet many Helens these days.

Truth is, I've always struggled with the concept of being moderate. I've been an all or nothing gal since I first made up my mind. Honestly, that isn't a horrible thing to be. It has its advantages. I dig in and I don't give up when I make up my mind. Its how I navigated college at fifteen. But finding middle ground is something I struggle with. Something I'm not comfortable doing. Some find that they can easily make "healthy choices" and allow a few "unhealthy" things to slip in now and again. Those "unhealthy" things don't ruin their diet, their exercise plan or their desire to be healthy. It isn't the end of the world or an era or anything. It was simply a choice.

To walk the path of moderation is a mystery to me. It just doesn't make a whole lotta sense. In my black and white brain, you're IN or you're OUT. Being healthy isn't one of those lovely sloping pools where you can splash around in the shallows - half in and half out. Slowly making your way deeper if that is your desire. Sun bathing in the shallows with a veggie platter and a slushie. Its an Olympic sized diving pool, and its sink or swim.

Progress might be in my future. At least that is what I'm hoping. I mean, the first step to change is seeing that change must be had. And the second step is the desire to make the change. Granted, sometimes this is both the easiest and hardest part. But still. I'm on my way. I read this article last night and I think this might be the path for me. Who knows? It is a starting point.

What I DO know is that it is important to accept yourself. All of you. Every individual cat in the herd of cats. It frees you from all kinds of unhealthy emotions. So, here is to Lucy, Susie and (hopefully) Helen, To the impulsive and lazy parts of me. The passionate and peace-loving frolicking felines that all make up who I am.

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