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Sunday, October 9, 2011

What?!

Ok. You know when you are going along, minding your own business, knowing you have a few things to work on when BAM! Out of nowhere you see pictures of yourself and you go, "What?! I really look like that?!" That has happened to me twice this weekend. It has made me want to cry. (DISCLAIMER!!!! I am NOT trying to get sympathy, compliments, words of condolence or anything of that nature. I am venting here!)

No seriously, I thought I was starting to look pretty ok. And then I see those pictures. Seriously? How long as it been that way? I know that I am by no means super overweight. I just have some "Juicy bits". Juicy bits I DO NOT LIKE!!!

And, you'd think that I would get all motivated to work out more and eat healthy. Which I kind of do, but the reality of it is I get so freaking depressed that I either don't eat at all or I "depress eat".  And then I go around beating myself up about it. I know, I know. Slow and steady wins the race and all that crap. But guess what? I WANT RESULTS NOW!!!!



Stupid. I know.

I get it. I am beautiful. I am talented. My husband thinks I'm hott (and so do some disrespectful Hispanic kids at Wal-Mart). But guess what world, I am one frustrated woman. Did you hear me?!

F-R-U-S-T-R-A-T-E-D!

I have been trying to run consistently, but now I see that it is going to take more than that. I have P90X, but I know the resulting soreness that fallows and haven't wanted to push myself. Well, enough is enough. I am NEVER having another picture taken again where I look remotely like that. No joke people. I've had it!

So, to follow the rules, I know that I am a very talented, kind, mostly sweet person :) I know that I am beautiful and that I can do anything I put my mind too (RIGHT?!) I know that my sweet husband thinks I am the most beautiful woman in the world. And, I know that I am so lucky to have the many blessings that I do have.

Like My Dear Cat Lulu


Let's be honest here: My house is a mess. I have not studied for a big mid-term. I am uber depressed about my husband being gone. I feel kind of like a loser. And, to top it off, I am a little more "juicy" than I would like and it is frustrating the living daylights out of me.

But you know what? I am gloriously human. My house will be clean in 15 minutes or so. I am going to study up a storm and be ready to go bright and early tomorrow morning. I have the best husband in the whole wide world. I have amazing friends and family. I seriously have the best support team on the planet. I have all the tools to look and be exactly what I want to be. I've got this! I can do this! I rock at life! Go me!

Oh yeah.... and I kind of burnt my lunch to an unrecognizable crisp and my house smells all burnt-y. But, hey, that's nothing new.



Guess what folks: I am human. And so are you. Let's all be honest about it, m'kay?

2 comments:

  1. You are so incredibly adorable. And I think your body is so cute! We are both CURVY! It is okay to want to change, but embrace your figure. It has taken me a long time to do so, but I promise you, SO MANY girls would die to trade places with you. See you Thursday! I will make sure to run off that juiciness REAL fast. My goal is to lose two pounds this week. :)

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  2. Can I just say you are amazing!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, you tell it like it is and it's so wonderful to know I'm not the only one who has felt that way! Who hasn't looked at a picture of themself, realized it looks awful and wanted to change the way the body looks? I know I've been there and that's what finally set me off to actually get going on losing weight! I admire your honesty and willingness to admit your unhappiness! It's not easy for sure but I know you and that you will accomplish anything you put your mind to! Good luck with all you do! You're awesome!

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